Well, the good news is that Lee Lee is eating more again. I was getting worried about her because she hadn't been eating much or very well. She even started giving me kisses again last night and today. She had been stingy since your death, but I think she is adjusting in her own way.
The older three were not very happy with me last night after I told them that the goal was to go to school all this week AND to sleep in our own rooms this week. I know in so many ways you are laughing at me for having let so many of them sleep in my bed after your death, but we all needed it, especially me. At least I can admit that even my own actions only support my theory of bed sharing with children.
Ash struggled to go to sleep and tried to have a major attitude with me. It "feels" like no one in his life loves him. He admitted that he knew there were lots of people that do love him, but it still "feels" that way. He couldn't explain why.
And like normal, I was the worst mom in the world this morning when I told the boys they had to shower. Gav took so long that I had to just tell Ash he'd have to get it done tonight. I don't know how to be this supermom that I have to be.
Lee Lee wanders the house saying "da, dad, dad, da." She is such a joy and relief right now. I suppose I have you to thank for her being such a lovely child, so happy, and void of regular fit throwing. You are the one whose been home with her the most up until now. I am so glad the two of you got that, but sad that she will soon forget it.
Sending all my love to you.
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